CYCLIST ENVY

Envy. Invidiousness.

That feeling of resentful emotion we experience when we lack what someone else has and we either desire it or wish that the other didn’t have it.

Portrait of a Woman
Suffering from Obsessive Envy
Jean Louis Théodore Géricault (1791–1824)

It’s a terrible thing, envy. But I wager it happens to all of us at some time in our lives, and I suspect cyclists might be more susceptible to it than the average Joe on the street.

You see, us cyclists live in a world where the latest bit of kit is going to make us go faster, where living a certain lifestyle will help us get the miles in and where having a particular physique is going to make getting up those climbs less gut wrenchingly difficult.

We read on the web and in the cycling press, day in and day out, reviews of the latest tech coming our way that we simply must have if we want to be taken seriously as a cyclist. Unless we have a bottomless wallet, unlikely in these times of austerity, just reading about it is tough enough. But when we meet our mates for a Sunday club run and that latest kit is hanging off their bikes, well, that’s when the little green monster is likely to rear it’s ugly head.

Whether it’s a new carbon monocoque frame, a power metre, a new Garmin GPS or the latest Rapha kit, sometimes it can be hard to swallow, especially when it’s happening week in week out.

Then there’s a guy on our Sunday run who works part-time and has a couple of days in the week to himself. He can ride his bike to his heart’s content without any time pressure. Sure, he has a young family and all the commitments that brings, but whilst the kids are out at school the road just yawns out ahead of him begging to be ridden. Just imagine the miles he’s been getting in over the last couple of weeks of this Indian summer…

And then there’s the plain physical envy. That guy we all know who eats what he wants but is naturally skinny, allowing him to dance up the hills leaving us huffing and puffing and cursing in his wake. Or even worse, the 'jelly belly' rider with legs like tree trunks, who claims to do no serious miles, yet come Sunday leaves us for dust in the sprint for the road sign finish.

Ah yes, envy comes to us all and is such a destructive force. Bertrand Russell said envy was one of the most potent causes of unhappiness. It is a universal and most unfortunate aspect of human nature because not only is the envious person rendered unhappy by his envy, but also wishes to inflict misfortune on others.

So what do we do when we, for whatever reason, find ourselves envious of our club mates? I find self-bolstering the best approach, appraising my better qualities and the positives that cycling brings to my life. This belief, this self-esteem can work wonders to the point where others’ kit, abilities and lifestyle no longer matter. I am just happy to be me, and I am sure a lot of other riders would like to be me too.

And if this doesn’t work? Well, there’s always schadenfreude, that malicious satisfaction we get from the misfortune of others, the misfortune which often befalls those touting their new extravagant purchases.

Just remember, don’t gloat. Not too much anyway…